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Hot wife seeking friendship sex calls that the rest of the world is going to find out what you do in the bedroom? You say that you are a closet kink-er, and Most people are. I'm a nice guy, I am well educated, I go to church, I am a business owner, I am on a couple of executive committees, I have nieces and nephews, I am involved in local athletics, and I really never plan on outing my kinky self in a way that would harm my business or personal reputation. What makes you think that you can't keep what goes on in your private bedroom (dungeon/ basement/garage, etc) Private? Did you already buy the t-shirts that say "I masturbate to tuba music while tied up under my bed covered in mustard sauce?" and you have nothing to wear? I don't understand why you would have any reason to think that being kinky would be something for the exposure and digestion of the general public? Do your peers discuss all of their "Normal" sexual relations and interaction with you. I going to go out on a limb here and say that I doubt it. As for finding the right partner, just keep looking. There's at least one out there for everyone, and always play safe! Your eventual term sex partner be very thankful that you did.